Baggage

I pose a question to all the single women out there, are divorce men damaged men?

Recently separated and newly divorced, I find that women have two rules of thought; 1. It shows he's a man that can commit or 2., What the F was his problem?

I find that even talking about it becomes laborious and I tend to not even mention it. Mainly due to the fact that I will tell someone that I am genuinely interested in, otherwise, what's the point?
Does having sex with a previously married man (or even just a date) really present a threat?

Single self on a shelf, again?

I'm constantly reminded about why being "single" is so great. Mostly from my guy friends, but lately, more from my girlfriends.

Over bourbon and martini's, I was asked if I had been admonished for looking or appreciating other women. She asked if I felt I "couldn't be my true self" around a significant other. Did I have to watch the News, CSI:Miami and Law and Order over Reality TV and bad dating shows? (Ok, I do have decent taste in my television watching, seriously) Does my extroverted personality take a back seat to being part of a couple? Does one still go out with the girlfriends and have guy's nights? Do couples get zapped into a routine? Funny enough, I listened and asked my self variations of those questions. Do I lose myself to (or in) a relationship? Have I been growing as person? What happens to perspective and personality when you find yourself in a happy relationship? Yes, these are things to ponder, but when you're not thinking about them and just enjoying the hell out of things, does it really matter? I like being single, I enjoy my independence and dating independent women.

I enjoy being in a relationship with one even more. Bottom line, if you change who you are for someone, that someone isn't right for you.

H-H-H-AWAII!!!

Fantastic time in Hawaii...Surfed for the first time, first Luau, first (and last) tast of Poi...Two recommendations though, One, make sure you're there for a week. The 6 hour time difference really takes it out of you. Two, forget you're in the USA. It's USA international and you're the minority. It's part "Deep" South, part Japanese, part Museum, part paradise... everyone I met was extraordinarily nice and happy (happy happy to gouge you for the $6 beer and $17 salad) and people seem to be genuine there. I spent the majority of the time in Oahu (Wakiki and Honolulu) and learned how to surf, did some work and relaxed.

...with all this exotic travel, I feel like I've been on vacation for months without time for rest!

Lay off...

This isn't grade school "kids".

Anon, Anon, Anon

Again, I look back at my writings and realize where I went wrong. I went from writing about what I have known (male-female dating interaction and the mating game) to writing about "fluff" that was mostly just fodder or an excuse to have a post when I no longer had anything to discuss about the women in my life. Aka, most of the girls I knew also knew I had a blog and I knew they would check it at some point. In my mind it made sense that if I didn't want them to know what I was thinking...then don't write about it. In those same writings, I realized i had lost sight of what I was doing...social commentary while maintaining anonymity.

The rearview mirror...

(Variations posted on new site and Myspace blog)

A different type of posting tonight, a bit more introspective...

Turns out that I NEEDED to censor things a bit with my writing, or at least stay away from free flowing thoughts with the potential to insult my dear friends and family members. Yet...sometimes unadulterated thought does come out about loved ones.

Sometimes I convey my mind quickly, without thinking for one second someone will take umbrage or that it was meant as such. A blog is usually a stream of conscious thought, usually a form of expression, sometimes it's about something, sometimes it's about someone...but the point is that it's not supposed to be out there to hurt others, but an outlet for expressing one's thoughts, feelings and sometimes rants. (Not that all of the blogs out there informative, are that benevolent or do/don't have a message to get out there.) The content of my blog is a compilation and recording of my personal thoughts and opinions. If you are in my life (and have managed to track down this blog by your own ways) I probably have mentioned you, or have written about you, if you have affected my life in some way. If you've ever wanted to read my thoughts and narratives, then read it, but just like most people, you probably don't want to hear anything but bread and roses. Sometimes thoughts and opinions aren't expressed as positively as one would want to (or hope to) hear. Most would read these opinions and write something like that off...those that find it intriguing ask for more and respond in positive or negative fashion (It's the way blogging works), but those that identify with , or are hurt by it, may actually think that that opinion might have some validity and when one gets offended, or even get belligerent, you fuel that fire within yourself and give validity to that expression or opinion.

(...blogs should remain anonymous and mine will go back to being such...)

One post in question is actually very unfortunate. Unfortunate for several reasons... one of which was that my blog was never intended for immediate family consumption. Unfortunate, because I offended a family member in a post from 7 months ago that they just recently read. I have an extreme affinity for this person and am saddened that they probably think I wrote it truly believing that they were like this, when in actuality, it was a poor choice of words to describe a positive attribute. Per request, this person (and that person's significant other) will be absent from my frivolities, stories, observation, narratives, ranting, ravings and pictures (out of respect for their wishes.) At the same time I can't help but be amazed by the response and backlash. This seemingly lack of foresight left me wondering why I should be so sorry for putting my uncensored thoughts out there about my life and those in it. The reality of the situation is that it really was a mistake and I'm sorry that this person may think I was being disrespectful.

To iterate, I haven't specifically written this in response to just the incident above, although it did fuel this post. I wrote this to dispel the belief that the almighty blog has some form of power or is out there to take over the world. It goes back to what your parents told you when you were growing up, "You don't have to like what I have to say, but you are entitled to your own opinion."

(New content and contributors are now on board, and yes, this has brought back my muse, inspiration and need to have an outlet once again)

Thanks for the comments and emails,

-UR